felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize