Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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