i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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