What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize