you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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