I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize