I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Be still, my beating vagina.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize