I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize