Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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