I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
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your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
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My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
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