I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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