There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize