I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize