you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize