Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize