Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize