I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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