Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize