I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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