I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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