ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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