Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize