wanna go halves on a baby?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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