I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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