Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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