i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize