dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
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He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
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She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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