Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize