i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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