It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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