i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize