life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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