i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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