wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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