I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize