I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I am naked and annoyed.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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