I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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