Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize