morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize