You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize