i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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