What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize