ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
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Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
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You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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