thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my shit smells like andre
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Come on in and take your pants off
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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