you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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