Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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