my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize