It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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