Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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