I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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